Saturday, November 9, 2013

Party Planning Committee Overload.

This is what I wore today to go out to a Birthday Bash Party Committee meeting at a board member's house.

There are several photos because I was critiquing Rob's unsteady hands.

The t-shirt and the belt are new. It's hard to tell here, but the t-shirt is a sweater like knit.

This is me exasperated with Rob's picture taking skills :) And by that I obviously mean his entire lack of desire to take these pictures. ( he then told me to sit up straight )

Not from the swap, but Rob bought me this necklace and earrings for my birthday and I haven't found a lot of opportunity to wear or show them off yet.

Just a quick little bit of background on the Birthday Bash:

It is our companies biggest fundraiser.
SKAM is 19 years old this year, and every year in January the board throws us a birthday party to raise money for us. The party takes place in the Oddfellows Hall  a grand ol' forgotten about hall in downtown Victoria. With a Billiards room, parlour room, ball room and Oddfellows temple it is an amazing place to throw a party. And the Bash is fun. Or the Bash is supposed to be fun.

Last year's volunteer orientation in the Ballroom.

Party in full swing.

Matthew and I's first portrait. Done in the lovely Pamela Bethel's Luxbooth.

Party clean up.

Since I am committing myself to being more honest and talking about what's overwhelming me... this party overwhelms me.

Now, I love parties. Little get togethers in my house, I get to cook and decorate and take care of everyone all night, no problem, yes please.

150 people showing up to play games, dance their butts off and have a good time. Also, not a problem.

Until I am forced to be responsible for 150 people, the liquor permit, and have to stay to the bitter end making sure drunk people get to where they need to be. All a big big overwhelming problem in Erin land.

Also, this party is a board lead activity with Administrative support, but last year when I was just figuring out what a database looked like or how to open Microsoft Excel, any administrative support was daunting. But one meeting in and I feel a little more in control of it than last year. And this year I should have two paramedics accompanying me (Rob's friend Ryan joined our board of directors). So. Its bound to be way better right?

Also, I now have just the dress.

Friday, November 8, 2013

This is Good Enough

I keep coming on here to say I'll start posting more. Promises, promises, promises... and this time isn't really any different.

Here's the thing though. I may never get around to it. Posting more, I mean.
Because, I'm overwhelmed.
By everything these days.
And I think that is what keeps me from here, in more ways than one.

But largely because instead of using this blog in the way that I used to use a blog, I've done the opposite to myself. I've given it rules.

I moved out here and started this new blog to stay linked to home, in my new life. Somewhere in the distance between here and there I decided that no one should read anything in here but the good. Positive, positive, positive. But not real.

A week or so ago, listening to the CBC we heard an episode of (DNTO I think?) about being good enough, and it was exactly what I have been feeling. I spend so long in a day thinking of what to write in my blog, and what photos I need to go with it, that by the time the list is done of photos that need to be edited, collaged, captioned... after I have already stared at a list that never ends and battled the clock at work... it makes me exhausted. 
And the last thing I want is for this blog to make me feel exhausted. I wanted this place to be a place to tell you that I am exhausted. 

Who reads this anyway? 

The people that want to know what my day looked like right? Did our niece trick or treat at our house? Did I finish the book for book club? What new things have I cooked? And that doesn't mean that I also need to write a review, link to a recipe and collage Halloween pictures to write about it. 
Cause guys. I'm exhausted. 

Its also a thing I've had a hard time writing here because I want to be perfect at this new life. 
The new job, having a house, and creating this grown up life, but I'm not perfect at it. So on top of it exhausting me, I'm exhausted from the strain of never saying I am exhausted. 
I need to stop more at work, and at home to say, "hey guys... I have no idea what I'm doing and its making me so tired."  Because that is why I'm really here right? So you guys can help me sort it out. So I can sort it out by writing it. 
I will write about what book I'm reading. I will write about things I cooked. I really hope to write about my new sewing hobby with my new friend Loukia. 
Because when I can, I love all of these things and I love writing about it. But instead of making it perfect I plan to trust that if you want the recipe, or you are thinking about reading a new book, or you just in general want to know more, you will ask me. And I will be so happy to share! 

One thing I can't wait to share! I went to another Clothing Swap! And this one was with two new friends I have made since moving here. Loukia, who does my hair and nails and her sister Soula who is my new Yoga instructor. Amber came along and it was fun. It was I live here and these are my new friends fun. (I have also made some new friends at my Book Club that I am really excited about too). 

Clothing Swaps are such an amazing renewal on your closet and your spirit without having to spend any money. It was so much fun to have Loukia and Soula tell us stories about the clothes we tried on and to give something someone loved so much a new life. So I hope to wear a new piece of clothing or accessory every day until I run out again and blogging them. I also sort of went to a swap in September that I both haven't blogged about, nor managed to wear everything from. It was held on my birthday and so was SKAM's AGM.

Jenny held it at the Makehouse, just like in the spring and I had stopped by earlier that day. Matthew phoned ahead to tell her it was my birthday, so it was a very nice surprise to be greeted with an enthusiastic Happy Birthday when I walked in the door. I told Jenny I really wanted to come to the swap and she said that since there was always so much left over, I should just drop by at the end of my night and take what I wanted. She had everything packed away real nice and Rob was very bored (Jenny found him ice cream so I could stay longer), but I did manage to go through a couple of bags and take some great pieces of new clothes.

It was after this recent swap that I realized that by not taking the time to integrate these new things into my wardrobe I didn't really appreciate them in September (and as a result haven't wore them because I promptly forgot about them). So, this time I am leaving everything in the bag and wearing them one at a time. 

So. That said. I will try to blog a new outfit every day. It won't be perfect. Somedays it might just be a picture and a note. And, to be honest it might not be every day. The important thing is, I'll try.

I went back to find what I had heard on CBC to link to here. Before I had even started the post. And to be honest, when I couldn't find it, I was going to close my computer and yet again not write this post. I did find this though, which referenced what I think it was that I heard. It is just as apropos.

And a new sweater! The best part of this sweater is that it was Amber's, and it didn't actually make it out the door to the swap. ;)

New earrings too!

The jeans are also new from September. 
It felt good to get dressed in all new clothes this morning. 
Isn't it funny that sometimes all it takes to get you excited to get going again is something new to leave the house in?

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

A SKAMy Summer: The Recap.

And just like that, its fall. The flurry of activity it took to get here, and now we all just sink back into budgets and rain and statistics.

Although today the blue skies and fluffy clouds are trying to convince me it is warm outside, when in fact, today feels like the first clear sky cold crisp day of fall.

A Recap. This summer we currated and produced a festival with 16 performance companies. Rob and I's basement was a revolving door of friends come to stay as artists for Theatre SKAM. That was an overwhelmingly wonderful experience. Before I even had the time to count the money or play the bills from Bike Ride, Marcel was on his way home from our basement to Toronto and Jay was moving in to start rehearsals for Smalltown: A Pickup Musical.

SKAM got a truck. Then SKAM built that truck into a stage and 10 people performed a beautiful little play on the back of it.

We toured that play around parks for four days and then ran it for two weeks over at the Victoria High School, right beside The Belfry Theatre. And we partied.

We partied before the show opened.

We partied because the show opened.

Saskatoon Berry Pie
Rob and I threw a party at our house to wind down the run.

And then we partied when it closed. And the next day everyone went home and it was all over. It felt like summer ended right then and there. Another week went by and SKAM's summer staff went back to school. I took a week off to recover and here we are in a quiet office with the heaters on post CRD Operations Grant trying to sort out the mess that was left behind in the whirlwind.

It doesn't normally look like this, but there is some major storage reconfiguration going on back there.

Please don't call Work Safe. 

Now if you excuse me, if you need me, I will be under the pile of paper work on my desk.
(I apologize for a lame post that says much of everything I've said before)

But now that life feels routine again, I promise to be back more often
(yeah, yeah.)

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


Monthly Curtain Call
Something I Saw

When I was 13 years old, my mom told me that she was gay. My parents had divorced a couple of years prior and Mom and I were going through a lot of changes together. The biggest changes of all though were attributed to the fact that I was 13 and my world was changing. 

I stole my poor mom's thunder that day when we had an arbitrary fight between teenager and mom and Mom said, "you don't know everything about me, you know" and I retorted, "What? You're gay?" And stormed off to my room leaving my mom's mouth hanging open. 

We laugh about it now, and even then, my world wasn't shattered because my mom was gay, it was because she wasn't letting me do whatever it was I wanted to do.

What I didn't know then (and probably neither did Mom), was what growing up being an ally to the most important woman in my life would mean. 

And it was a struggle for the first years. We lived in a small town, I had struggled in that town a lot with my reputation to begin with, I wasn't athletic and didn't fit in with the cool girls. But I had great friends. Some of which are still great friends today. One of which moved all the way to the west coast to live in our basement suite. So we told a select few and let the rest of the world think what they wanted to think. It was a big moment for me at my high school graduation, when I knew I was getting the hell out of dodge, for my mom to wear a tux and bring her lesbian partner at the time to the ceremony. Nobody pointed, or stared, or even asked (well maybe they did, but I didn't care enough to notice) and then it was just out there. No more whispers and rumours in high school hallways. No going back.

The amazing thing about being the child of a gay parent, especially then, especially when that parent came out late in life, is that you come out too. And you keep coming out, to new friends, co workers and eventually the new family of your partner.

I saw this yesterday: 

And immediately joined the community. The resources that exist now that weren't even a glimmer then for gay families fill me with so much pride and hope.

When I was 18, I was lucky enough to meet two amazing little girls that had to go through it all yet. And I stood by them, we marched in parades, we went to family drag shows. We banded together and when the three of us put on pretty dresses and makeup we joked that 'gay skips a generation'. I remember having a conversation with an old boyfriend about how the youngest would have no father figure to scare of future boyfriends. And then he met Kell, who crawled out from under her pickup truck covered in grease and gave him the firmest handshake he's ever had and he took it all back.

And those two girls, they are in healthy happy heterosexual relationships. So am I. We weren't ruined.

So last year shortly after moving here, when Rob and I went to the Pride Parade as allies, alone, I felt very lost without my big gay family. Rob was lost in general, having never participating in Pride before. Not homophobic in any way, but his world was blown wide open :)

This year, my mom is here, and I am starting to find a big gay Victoria family of my own. I ASM'd the big Drag Show kick off to Pride, Cabergay, and while joking about never ever wanting to Stage Manage drag queens... Stage Managing is what I do and what I can give back, and it felt good to give back. 

But the most amazing Pride I've ever had was taking Mom to Vancouver this year for the their enormous Pride Parade in the Davie Street Village. We met my boys Niko and Adam and in all of my years at Pride, I felt like the Proudest Gay Ally that I've ever been.

Here are some moments from that:

My mom in the village where they were painting the boulevard in chalk rainbows.

Across the street from us were pranksters with water guns spraying the parade as it went by (they sprayed a drill sergeant police officer on his motorbike and got a stern talking to), most of the parade people were prepared and sprayed back. The best though was when the Vancouver FD stopped their truck, screwed on their hose and sprayed them down, creating real rainbows in the street!

BC Ambulance represent.

The best part of the whole parade for me, were the rainbow epaulets on the BCAS shoulders. Rob should be so proud to work for and be leadership in such a foreword thinking EMS community.
This brought tears to my eyes.

Orange Crush

So pretty.

This one is for Anne and Shauna, BC Corrections Officers! Loud and Proud!

My other favourite Pride Float, and also for Anne...

It's a Vancouver curling club!

Niko and Adam's landlord was festive.

Adam surprised us with a Pride candy apple from Rocky Mountain House.

We got to walk across Vancouver's new permanent rainbow crosswalks!

The festival goers.

And my absolutely favourite part of Vancouver, all dressed up for Pride.
I seriously visit these guys every time I can, they make me so unbelievably happy.
Which is actually sort of their purpose.

So you can imagine my squeal of delight when I saw them in their rainbows!
They were protected by a fence this time though, too much traffic with Pride and the International Fireworks competition, so I couldn't run up and give them a hug.

I'll give them an extra big squeeze next time. To thank them, for being so supportive.

Monday, August 26, 2013

First Ever Monthly Curtain Call

To try to keep my blogging up, I plan to post a roundup of the month in the last few days of every month. So here is my very first Monthly Curtain Call!

I'll start it off with Something I Ate!

One afternoon when I had to be downtown for something, I happened to be parked next to one of my very favourite diners in Victoria. QV Cafe & Bakery. There is nothing particularly special about it. It is open 24 hours and it was an old garage.

Which makes it very charming to sit in in summer time with the big garage doors open. It looks out across at China Town, and at night the gates and paper lanterns are lit up. One of my favourite views in the city.

And they have Amazing Enormous desserts.
This one was chocolate mousse for Rob.

And a homemade oreo cookie the size of my face for Max!

And I bought the world's largest cupcake.

Seriously. I had to give half of this way!

If you come to visit, I'll be sure to take you to QV's!

And of course we ate figs.

And more figs

And more figs

Did you eat anything interesting this month? Maybe some fair food or bush pies? Share your favourite food and recipes with me!