Party Planning Committee Overload.

This is what I wore today to go out to a Birthday Bash Party Committee meeting at a board member's house.

There are several photos because I was critiquing Rob's unsteady hands.

The t-shirt and the belt are new. It's hard to tell here, but the t-shirt is a sweater like knit.

This is me exasperated with Rob's picture taking skills :) And by that I obviously mean his entire lack of desire to take these pictures. ( he then told me to sit up straight )

Not from the swap, but Rob bought me this necklace and earrings for my birthday and I haven't found a lot of opportunity to wear or show them off yet.

Just a quick little bit of background on the Birthday Bash:

It is our companies biggest fundraiser.

SKAM is 19 years old this year, and every year in January the board throws us a birthday party to raise money for us. The party takes place in the Oddfellows Hall  a grand ol' forgotten about hall in downtown Victoria. With a Billiards room, parlour room, ball room and Oddfellows temple it is an amazing place to throw a party. And the Bash is fun. Or the Bash is supposed to be fun.

Last year's volunteer orientation in the Ballroom.

Party in full swing.

Matthew and I's first portrait. Done in the lovely Pamela Bethel's Luxbooth.

Party clean up.

Since I am committing myself to being more honest and talking about what's overwhelming me... this party overwhelms me.

Now, I love parties. Little get togethers in my house, I get to cook and decorate and take care of everyone all night, no problem, yes please.

150 people showing up to play games, dance their butts off and have a good time. Also, not a problem.

Until I am forced to be responsible for 150 people, the liquor permit, and have to stay to the bitter end making sure drunk people get to where they need to be. All a big big overwhelming problem in Erin land.

Also, this party is a board lead activity with Administrative support, but last year when I was just figuring out what a database looked like or how to open Microsoft Excel, any administrative support was daunting. But one meeting in and I feel a little more in control of it than last year. And this year I should have two paramedics accompanying me (Rob's friend Ryan joined our board of directors). So. Its bound to be way better right?

Also, I now have just the dress.

This is Good Enough

I keep coming on here to say I'll start posting more. Promises, promises, promises... and this time isn't really any different.

Here's the thing though. I may never get around to it. Posting more, I mean.
Because, I'm overwhelmed.
By everything these days.
And I think that is what keeps me from here, in more ways than one.

But largely because instead of using this blog in the way that I used to use a blog, I've done the opposite to myself. I've given it rules.

I moved out here and started this new blog to stay linked to home, in my new life. Somewhere in the distance between here and there I decided that no one should read anything in here but the good. Positive, positive, positive. But not real.

A week or so ago, listening to the CBC we heard an episode of (DNTO I think?) about being good enough, and it was exactly what I have been feeling. I spend so long in a day thinking of what to write in my blog, and what photos I need to go with it, that by the time the list is done of photos that need to be edited, collaged, captioned... after I have already stared at a list that never ends and battled the clock at work... it makes me exhausted. 

And the last thing I want is for this blog to make me feel exhausted. I wanted this place to be a place to tell you that I am exhausted. 

Who reads this anyway? 

The people that want to know what my day looked like right? Did our niece trick or treat at our house? Did I finish the book for book club? What new things have I cooked? And that doesn't mean that I also need to write a review, link to a recipe and collage Halloween pictures to write about it. 

Cause guys. I'm exhausted. 

Its also a thing I've had a hard time writing here because I want to be perfect at this new life. 

The new job, having a house, and creating this grown up life, but I'm not perfect at it. So on top of it exhausting me, I'm exhausted from the strain of never saying I am exhausted. 

I need to stop more at work, and at home to say, "hey guys... I have no idea what I'm doing and its making me so tired."  Because that is why I'm really here right? So you guys can help me sort it out. So I can sort it out by writing it. 

I will write about what book I'm reading. I will write about things I cooked. I really hope to write about my new sewing hobby with my new friend Loukia. 

Because when I can, I love all of these things and I love writing about it. But instead of making it perfect I plan to trust that if you want the recipe, or you are thinking about reading a new book, or you just in general want to know more, you will ask me. And I will be so happy to share! 

One thing I can't wait to share! I went to another Clothing Swap! And this one was with two new friends I have made since moving here. Loukia, who does my hair and nails and her sister Soula who is my new Yoga instructor. Amber came along and it was fun. It was I live here and these are my new friends fun. (I have also made some new friends at my Book Club that I am really excited about too). 

Clothing Swaps are such an amazing renewal on your closet and your spirit without having to spend any money. It was so much fun to have Loukia and Soula tell us stories about the clothes we tried on and to give something someone loved so much a new life. So I hope to wear a new piece of clothing or accessory every day until I run out again and blogging them. I also sort of went to a swap in September that I both haven't blogged about, nor managed to wear everything from. It was held on my birthday and so was SKAM's AGM.

Jenny held it at the Makehouse, just like in the spring and I had stopped by earlier that day. Matthew phoned ahead to tell her it was my birthday, so it was a very nice surprise to be greeted with an enthusiastic Happy Birthday when I walked in the door. I told Jenny I really wanted to come to the swap and she said that since there was always so much left over, I should just drop by at the end of my night and take what I wanted. She had everything packed away real nice and Rob was very bored (Jenny found him ice cream so I could stay longer), but I did manage to go through a couple of bags and take some great pieces of new clothes.

It was after this recent swap that I realized that by not taking the time to integrate these new things into my wardrobe I didn't really appreciate them in September (and as a result haven't wore them because I promptly forgot about them). So, this time I am leaving everything in the bag and wearing them one at a time. 

So. That said. I will try to blog a new outfit every day. It won't be perfect. Somedays it might just be a picture and a note. And, to be honest it might not be every day. The important thing is, I'll try.

I went back to find what I had heard on CBC to link to here. Before I had even started the post. And to be honest, when I couldn't find it, I was going to close my computer and yet again not write this post. I did find this though, which referenced what I think it was that I heard. It is just as apropos.

In Support of Settling

And a new sweater! The best part of this sweater is that it was Amber's, and it didn't actually make it out the door to the swap. ;)

New earrings too!

The jeans are also new from September. 

It felt good to get dressed in all new clothes this morning. 

Isn't it funny that sometimes all it takes to get you excited to get going again is something new to leave the house in?