#ReasonToRise

Sorry everyone, I am busy living under my rehearsal rock. Which feels bizarre since I have been in a total of 4 rehearsals for this show that opens Saturday. But in that time we had the wonderful Samantha here for a week and I worked as a coordinated/camp counselor/shopper for this amazing kids fashion camp. Not to mention arranging for MY MOM to move to the coast.
Now I'm in full Fringe mode and will be getting up by myself in front of room full of people tonight to promote Home Free! I feel like the island is making me into this somewhat fearless shorts wearing woman that I didn't know I could be (still full of plenty of fear but I'm getting great at pretending. Maybe by the end of September I'll actually be able to take the #19 bus in Vancouver past East Hastings all by myself without wanting to cry).

In the mean time I want to thank my friend Dani for bringing me out from under my rock and making me aware of this.

#ReasonToRise

Growing up with a feminist mother when I was young my rebellion was to declare that I WAS not a feminist. And then I met this amazing lady named Diana Relke at the U of S who taught me that being a feminist didn't have to be about not shaving your legs and wearing men's suits. That if I was proud to be a woman that was reason enough to be a "feminist".

And feminist or not our bodies are our own. As a victim of rape myself (by someone who claimed to love me no less) I stand in solidarity with these women.

Because my dear, I want to do it better.

Both of these blog entries by total strangers have left me in tears just now. Please go read them and see for yourself.

Been Thinking

"Every once in a while, I watch him twisting his ring with his thumb and I think what I said then:  If I believed in karma instead of grace, I might say it took me this long to meet you because I needed time to make and then atone for so many mistakes. I needed this long to become a person who could equal your character."

In the midst of a lot of people's current chaos I am at a loss again for words to describe how grateful and amazed I am to have Rob by my side.

I got soul but I'm not a soldier

This week's song of the week is dedicated to my dear friend Mikayla

The whole time Sam was here I couldn't help but think I was roughly her age when I visited Victoria for the first time (just a little older.. turned 24 here). And then All These Things That I've Done by the Killers started playing non stop on the radio and I could clearly remember what it felt like to be 23.

Because you see, that song was the song of the year 23. Of the (school) year 05/06. Of the year of Mikayla and Erin. And that song became our anthem. After a night of bringing in my 23rd birthday at the worst stagette I've ever been at, having to leave my own surprise dressing room Bomb-itty birthday to go to it, heavy into the year that began my drunken blackouts, Amber and I decided we would have more fun watching me blackout then at that bar hopping every 25 minute stagette where the bride completely forgot it was my birthday. Mikayla met us for last call at the Scuzz and it became the kind of night that memories are made of. The best part was when I woke up on Amber's couch, really hungover but with a clear memory of all of it. Triumphantly 23, Amber and I loaded up the mix CD Jessica had made me in honour of this birthday and the first song to play was this one. We blared it through the windows on our way to get Mikayla for greasy fries and gravy with a side of bacon at Smitty's and an anthem was born. (as most of you know, clear memories of drunken nights didn't last and I eventually gave up drinking all together, but I'm glad that I got this night and this memory)

That song carried Mik and I through the year. We played it over house speakers in the North Studio, we played it in my bachelor suite apartment, we requested it in bars ("you girls like the keeeeeelers??"), it blared out of our cars on road trips. That was our song and that was our year.

And yesterday when I felt sad and somewhat hopeless I kept getting lines from it stuck in my head.
"when you can't hold on... hold on."
And Mikayla and I had time to FaceTime and everything looked a lot better.

(Thank you Jessica Klein for the mix CD, I bet you never knew how epic it became)

Quiet

I have been so lucky to have my little Sam here for a whole week that this morning when I got up to an empty house and the prospect of Rob being overnight in Vancouver I found it very hard to want to do anything.

I've finally just dragged myself out of the house to run some errands and decided to check on something I'd seen in the Cook Street Village yesterday that might work well in our bathroom. Having moped through my day not eating I decided to take a little detour to the Fairfield Market for an ice cream sandwich. Salted Caramel Coconut today.

I will get a day by day account of our adventures this past week put up soon but for now... I'm just taking in all of the quiet.

(come see us at the Fringe directly across from the Fairfield Market and have one of these delightful ice cream sandwiches. I know I will be having one every day).

Feels like Jan Lake up in here

It's been to busy too get to my song of the week on time because the lovely Samantha is here and we have been all over this city, island and even Vancouver.

But a few days late, in her honor, Runaway by Kanye West is up. This song could take you from the start of the Jan Lake grid right to our Staff Room doors... exactly. And no song in the world feels more like Samantha and I at Jan Lake.

I promise to blog all about our adventures together soon, until then, head over and look at What's Cooking. Since I have my very favorite kitchen partner with me to use up all of this amazing island produce at last.

(instagram holds a photo documentation of our week together so far as well)