Proud.

Monthly Curtain Call

Something I Saw

When I was 13 years old, my mom told me that she was gay. My parents had divorced a couple of years prior and Mom and I were going through a lot of changes together. The biggest changes of all though were attributed to the fact that I was 13 and my world was changing. 

I stole my poor mom's thunder that day when we had an arbitrary fight between teenager and mom and Mom said, "you don't know everything about me, you know" and I retorted, "What? You're gay?" And stormed off to my room leaving my mom's mouth hanging open. 

We laugh about it now, and even then, my world wasn't shattered because my mom was gay, it was because she wasn't letting me do whatever it was I wanted to do.

What I didn't know then (and probably neither did Mom), was what growing up being an ally to the most important woman in my life would mean. 

And it was a struggle for the first years. We lived in a small town, I had struggled in that town a lot with my reputation to begin with, I wasn't athletic and didn't fit in with the cool girls. But I had great friends. Some of which are still great friends today. One of which moved all the way to the west coast to live in our basement suite. So we told a select few and let the rest of the world think what they wanted to think. It was a big moment for me at my high school graduation, when I knew I was getting the hell out of dodge, for my mom to wear a tux and bring her lesbian partner at the time to the ceremony. Nobody pointed, or stared, or even asked (well maybe they did, but I didn't care enough to notice) and then it was just out there. No more whispers and rumours in high school hallways. No going back.

The amazing thing about being the child of a gay parent, especially then, especially when that parent came out late in life, is that you come out too. And you keep coming out, to new friends, co workers and eventually the new family of your partner.

I saw this yesterday: 

And immediately joined the community. The resources that exist now that weren't even a glimmer then for gay families fill me with so much pride and hope.

When I was 18, I was lucky enough to meet two amazing little girls that had to go through it all yet. And I stood by them, we marched in parades, we went to family drag shows. We banded together and when the three of us put on pretty dresses and makeup we joked that 'gay skips a generation'. I remember having a conversation with an old boyfriend about how the youngest would have no father figure to scare of future boyfriends. And then he met Kell, who crawled out from under her pickup truck covered in grease and gave him the firmest handshake he's ever had and he took it all back.

And those two girls, they are in healthy happy heterosexual relationships. So am I. We weren't ruined.

So last year shortly after moving here, when Rob and I went to the Pride Parade as allies, alone, I felt very lost without my big gay family. Rob was lost in general, having never participating in Pride before. Not homophobic in any way, but his world was blown wide open :)

This year, my mom is here, and I am starting to find a big gay Victoria family of my own. I ASM'd the big Drag Show kick off to Pride, Cabergay, and while joking about never ever wanting to Stage Manage drag queens... Stage Managing is what I do and what I can give back, and it felt good to give back. 

But the most amazing Pride I've ever had was taking Mom to Vancouver this year for the their enormous Pride Parade in the Davie Street Village. We met my boys Niko and Adam and in all of my years at Pride, I felt like the Proudest Gay Ally that I've ever been.

Here are some moments from that:

My mom in the village where they were painting the boulevard in chalk rainbows.

Across the street from us were pranksters with water guns spraying the parade as it went by (they sprayed a drill sergeant police officer on his motorbike and got a stern talking to), most of the parade people were prepared and sprayed back. The best though was when the Vancouver FD stopped their truck, screwed on their hose and sprayed them down, creating real rainbows in the street!

BC Ambulance represent.

The best part of the whole parade for me, were the rainbow epaulets on the BCAS shoulders. Rob should be so proud to work for and be leadership in such a foreword thinking EMS community.

This brought tears to my eyes.

Orange Crush

So pretty.

This one is for Anne and Shauna, BC Corrections Officers! Loud and Proud!

My other favourite Pride Float, and also for Anne...

It's a Vancouver curling club!

Niko and Adam's landlord was festive.

Adam surprised us with a Pride candy apple from Rocky Mountain House.

We got to walk across Vancouver's new permanent rainbow crosswalks!

The festival goers.

And my absolutely favourite part of Vancouver, all dressed up for Pride.

I seriously visit these guys every time I can, they make me so unbelievably happy.

Which is actually sort of their purpose.

So you can imagine my squeal of delight when I saw them in their rainbows!

They were protected by a fence this time though, too much traffic with Pride and the International Fireworks competition, so I couldn't run up and give them a hug.

I'll give them an extra big squeeze next time. To thank them, for being so supportive.

It's Raining Plums!

We made a really exciting discovery this week in the garden.
We have plums.

Last year I re discovered plums in Rob's mom's backyard. These plums are miniature, and super sweet. You can almost pop the whole thing in your mouth like a cherry. Amazing. Not at all like the tart not quite ripe plums found in grocery stores. Ruth's tree produces more than she ever knows what to do with. Last year we brought home a half gallon, the only catch was, we had to climb the ladder and pick them ourselves. And then we spend all winter eating interesting desserts made with plums.

This week we were out examining our poor decrepit apple trees. Seriously, last year there were so many apples, but they were all scabby, so really only good for cooking. This year we had actual arborists look at our trees in the spring and they cut them back. Now one tree isn't producing at all. Last winter I had even said that maybe we should chop at least one of them down and grow a plum tree, or a cherry tree. While I was over there I looked over into the rocks by the shed and said "hey... where are the plums coming from?"


We looked up into the huge tree arching over the back corner of the yard and I peered behind the fence to find that the plums are coming from a plum tree. Surprise! But the real surprise was, it might be our plum tree!

The next day, Amber and I were hanging around the shed picking up fallen plums when the dog in our neighbours yard came barreling at us. Yards here are different then yards in Saskatchewan, covered with huge trees and with huge fences in between us, we don't really know our neighbours at a all. There aren't any lane ways in our neighbourhood either, so we are back to back with the house behind us, but as long as we've been in the house there has been an old dilapidated solid fence between us. A few weeks back a new chain link fence arrived and we were able to see into our neighbours yard for the first time. Turns out they have a dog. A large dog. So when he came tearing toward us, Amber and I yelped a little and his owners came running over to admonish him. Turns out the (enormous) dog is new and still just a puppy (hence, the new, stronger fence) and the neighbours have only been there 2 months themselves. And they are our age and super nice! Rob thinks I'm funny, but I love getting to know our neighbours. I grew up at my next door neighbours house. Dad and Larry used to pretend they were Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble and they would someday build a puuool in between our yards.

So I keenly told them we would have them over for a barbecue soon, and they looked as excited as me (or maybe I'm just creepy and hoped they were that excited).

This whole long story was getting around to the fact that they also think the plum tree is ours. But we will share the plums as they fall :) And unfortunately we discovered after pulling out the giant fruit picking ladder, that the tree is very very very large, and we may only be able to collect the plums as they fall after all.

wash. rinse. repeat.

One thing I seem to be routinely learning at my new job is that unlike Stage Management, the production never ends. Metaphorically and figuratively. Once a production is over, the company keeps chugging along right into the next one. This winter I learnt this in terms of my lists. As an SM, the lists have to get done, and all things on that list have a deadline; opening night. The office list has deadlines, but those deadlines just push all the other things on the list that keep the company running further down the list. It doesn't make them go away, instead the list just gets longer.

As we started to switch into high gear this summer planning our annual outdoor theatre festival and the world premiere of an original SKAM production, staged on the back of a flat deck pick up truck, I began to learn another hard new reality. When I was Stage Managing, I embraced that busy flurry of Production week, knowing that into the run I would sleep and socialize and at the end of it I would likely have a week off between it and the next job. Closing night, I could hand in my keys, make sure my prompt book was well maintained and hand it all off, content to sleep the next day away.

This is very very different. That flurry of activity happens in the weeks leading up to rehearsals. And it's the sort of flurry that you don't even know if you've done everything right until someone tells you you haven't. And then once you are safely into rehearsals it feels relatively calm, and just when you think you can relax, bam! Its over, and that means, things need to get paid, things need to be accounted for, reports need to be written! Before you can even adjust to finishing this project up you are into preparation for the next.

There is no resting up for the next job. There is no next job. This is my job.

Gahhh! I have earned so much respect for administrators every where this year. I notice GM's now, and Operations Managers and Producing Managers. I know what a controller is. My book keeper (and incredible mentor) is becoming my best friend... No, really. She emailed today to make sure my root canal went ok.

Someone ought to run back to 1998 and let me (and Mr. Mutch) know that somehow, I grew up and someone trusted me with an annual budget. That I know what a fiscal year is, and I know how to solve temporary cash flow problems. And that I've even voluntarily signed up for a class called Accounting for Arts and Cultural Managers. Now to find the time to study...

P.s. I cannot recommend the Dill Pickle soup strong enough. Even Amber gave it an A+ ;)

A Mushy Meal Plan

Oh dear blog world.
I haven't forgotten about you over here in cyberspace. I've just been too caught up in staring at a computer screen most days and never moving from my desk... straight into the frantic no sleep world of producing a Theatre Festival with 17 different performing companies over two weekends.

But more on that I promise.

I've put myself on a bit of a schedule around here.
Made some lists.
I hope that will keep my blogging on a better track.

I plan to start each week (usually Monday, but here we are at Tuesday and I will push on), with the meal plan for the week. I've revamped the tumblr link where all of my food related things go, so that if there is something you see here that you like, you can go over there and find the recipe. Just click on What's Cooking? up top or follow me on tumblr: The Proof is in the Pudding.

This week, the meal plan is a bit bizarre looking, because after weeks of suffering through a flurry of activity with no time to see a dentist, I put off yet another cavity to the point of abscess. I was in to see the dentist briefly before the madness started and was able to get on antibiotics until I could get it assessed for a root canal (ugh). The antibiotics sucked and before I had the time to even go for my root canal consult I had two different types to keep them effective in my system. This last week I was on antibiotic number three and so happy the appointment was just around the corner. With every new antibiotic my stomach had to re adjust and I was stuck with two or three days of full on nauseous. That coupled with mouth pain all over (its like all the other bad teeth know when you've seen a dentist, my wisdom teeth were on the move and the wear on the right side of my mouth has produced two new cavities), I haven't been eating very well in general. Rob grimaced the other day when I put three cans of different shaped zoodles (princess, scooby doo and alpagheti) in the grocery basket.

So in preparation this weeks meal plan is a variation of soup, leftover soup and easing into mashed potatoes and rice. With a side of jello and pudding. Did you know you can't make instant pudding with almond milk? I don't know the particulars behind this, but it is on google, we discovered after the fact. You just wind up with a lovely chocolate soup instead.

Turns out, after weeks of panicking, 2 mg of ativan, a lit bit of freezing and Rob taking the day off to sit patiently in the room with me yesterday, I feel fine already! In fact the new cavities on the other side of my mouth are taking way more precedent all of a sudden... only a couple of more weeks until those are fixed too. So happy to finally be on dental benefits after all of these years.

So, soup it is anyway... I just get to also have the grilled (soy) cheese sandwiches I snuck in for Rob's benefit as well.

Sunday- leftovers (from a great zucchini pasta salad that I will hopefully post in the future)

Monday- Celery and Celery Root Soup that I go on and on about regularly, now I've finally posted the recipe. We had it with amazing potato and rosemary bread from Fairway Market

Tuesday - Leftover Celery Root Soup

Wednesday - Dill Pickle Soup and Grilled Cheese

Thursday - Left over Dill Pickle Soup

Friday- Roast Turkey, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy in the slowcooker

Saturday - Barbecued Chicken in oyster sauce and rice

I'm so happy after all this chaos to have time in my kitchen again!

Spark

Tuesday night I took my mom to The Belfry Theatre to see a show at their Spark Festival. A Festival of "new plays and new ideas". I took her to a play I have been looking forward to seeing for a while called A Brimful of Asha.  

The synopsis from the Spark website is: 

Real-life mother and son, Asha and Ravi Jain, each defend their side of this true (and very Canadian) story of generational and cultural clash. When Ravi takes a trip to India his parents decide it is the perfect time to introduce him to potential brides. Ravi is not sold on the idea of getting married-at least not yet-but Asha fears that time is running out.

I first heard about the show on CBC's Q with Jian Ghomeshi (my CBC boyfriend) and was completely taken with the idea. The interview with Asha and Ravi is wonderful and funny. And despite the cultural differences, Ravi and Asha sounded just like most Canadian mothers and sons.

The play proved to be every bit as charming. It is immediately brought to every ones attention that Asha (mom) is not an actress and doesn't intend to be one either. It is really 90 minutes of story-telling and conversation. The lights even stay up for the first 3/4 of the play making you feel like you are in their dining room. (They handed out Samosas to start and shook peoples hands as they walked through the door!).

This is by no means a review, but I really wanted to share the experience with you. What a fun play to take my mom too, while they talked about generational differences, parents always being right, and at one point Asha even stops Ravi mid story as he has absent mindedly leaned against the table and she makes him get up and find a chair! Obviously it had all been well rehearsed, but they were so charming and honest with each other (as only a real life mother and son could be) that it was easy to believe that this argument about marriage changes every night, and is fuelled by new fires.

Listen to Ravi and Asha on Q here:

Interview – CBC Radio – Q with Jian Ghomeshi – Ravi and Asha on Q

And this is what I wore  -->

This might be the bravest I've been out here yet. Its weird the amount of freedom living in a new place has given me in feeling like I can really be whoever I always wanted to be.

A year ago, you could not have convinced me I would wear a regular length top and leggings out to the theatre! But here we are. And I like it.

With jeans and a little more casual in the office.

The shirt is satiny and feels totally glamorous, even when paired with jeans. Matthew took me along to a lecture he gave at UVic yesterday and it was the first time I have ever been introduced to a University class as a theatre professional. So I was really glad I was feeling slightly more glamorous than most days.

Yesterday I was back to casual with a nice comfy half button down shirt.

It sort of feels like I am wearing the top half of a onesie and I like it, but the buttons at the top won't stay done up, so I feel a little as though I am "popping out". It's the first swap item that I have considered may end up in the next swap.

Today I am wearing another new top that I absolutely love, but I'll have to wait until Rob or Amber can help me take a photo of the back of it, because that's the best part.

Stay tuned.

Swap Into Spring Update

This update didn't happen last night.

Either did the Pho Soup. After all all that touting about meal plans.

Instead I opted for some quality best friend time. Have I mentioned that Amber (who has been my best friend and on and off again roommate since we were 12 years old. Including the 3 years of high school I spent living with her family and 2 of which we shared a bedroom) has moved to Victoria and rented out our basement suite?

It's pretty awesome.
It's pretty much the most awesome thing ever.

Last night we went out shopping for a bit right after I was done work. Our main goal was Michaels, but we took a long time getting distracted by multi-vitamins and apricot scrubs and thigh high stockings before we got there.

And then we bought the prettiest yarn (I wish I had taken a picture of it to post here!) for me to knit us some head/ear warmers for going on our walks along the Gorge. While it may not be that cold here in Victoria, the wind can still make your ears hurt.

By the time we got home it was 8 PM and the thought of still baking my chicken for Pho Soup was unbearable (normally I would have had this done ahead of time as well, but I forgot on Sunday). So I threw the chicken in the oven to have later this week, made a batch of rice to have with leftover curry for lunches at work and Amber made me supper in her place.
See. Pretty much the most awesome thing ever.

And then when my chicken was safely out of the oven we watched two episodes of Gossip Girl. We thought we would pick a show that would bring us together, like Dawson's Creek did in high school, and make us feel like teenagers again. Teenagers that disapprove of all of this bad behaviour! Gossip Girl has been a really great pick and has us squealing like 15 year olds and yelling at all of the characters on the screen every night that Rob has gone out of town.
(Have I mentioned how awesome this arrangement is yet?)

This has not been a Swap into Spring update at all... whoops.

Here it is.
First, my amazing new dress!

I had some reservations about this dress at the swap. It is a bit on the snug side... I am sucking in a lot in this picture so that no one mistakenly thought I was announcing a baby Howland. But once I had it on on Saturday I was so beyond thrilled with it. The fabric has some give so it didn't feel snug at all after having it on for a while, and its a soft cozy sort of fabric, so I didn't even really feel like I was wearing a dress.

Look at all that pretty lace.

It goes perfectly with my feather earrings.

I wore it out to see Rob's little cousin Alana in her middle school production of Annie, that was out of this world! Two and a half hours went by and I almost forgot that they were kids on stage! Incredible. What a fun night out. They had it at the McPherson Playhouse, this gorgeous old playhouse in town and had 118 kids on stage, and another 100 backstage. We were at the closing night performance so the Dirctor came out to say thank you and gave a speech about how importnat theatre is for kids and parents to be involved in. I was so choked up!

 

The last two items are pretty casual, and pretty me. Just a nice t-shirt to lounge around in and...

 Yes. Another black sweater. You never know right? 

Meal Planning

A recurring conversation I seem to have with my closest friends lately have involved food and organization. I guess as we get older, we are starting to be a lot more aware of the link between what we eat and how we feel, and the link between how we feel and what we get done, or feel like getting done.

Also, the majority of us are now transitioning from cooking for ourselves to get by -- to cooking for our families, whether that means our families of two or four, just adults, or kids and adult, on busy schedules or on relaxed schedules. It really changes the necessities of planning, no matter what shape and size that planning is.

Rob and I have a meal plan. Its fairly new, but we have really adjusted into sliding it into our rhythm. Friday night or Saturday morning while doing the supper or brunch dishes, we clean out the fridge, take stock of what's left and plan the week. We used to do this on Sunday afternoons, but we often have dinner at Rob's parents' house Sunday evening and that leaves us grocery shopping at 9 PM on a Sunday and the selection is pretty bleak. It also allows for us to go to the winter bi weekly market on Saturday mornings (every Saturday in the summer! So soon!) and get our produce and even some of our meat locally. The most useful thing that has come out of this planning hasn't necessarily been the meals themselves... but the way that this forces us to take stock of the week to come. Is Rob away any of the nights? Do we have plans to go out? Do I have to work late? Can we invite anyone over for dinner that we haven't seen in a while? Is anyone coming to stay with us?

The times that Rob will be away for big amounts of time I can hear myself groaning and thinking to hell with a meal plan, its only just for me! But I've discovered, these are the days I need the plan the most! Otherwise I slide into making a bun with soy cheese melted on it (oh yeah, we (really just I) are trying our best to go dairy free, more about that at a different time). And then I lose all of of my energy. And then I don't go to bed on time. And then I stare off into space at work. Its a slippery slope.

But if I get home on a night Rob's gone and see that, oh yeah, I'm having Pho soup tonight, and not only am I having Pho soup, since I knew that last night, the chicken is thawed in the fridge and the broth is slowly getting too old to eat... I can't ignore that if I don't have the Pho soup, I will be wasting food!

And then I am forced to eat well.

So, I thought since this is a recurring theme in conversation lately, and with lots of lovely ladies that I know read this blog, that I would share my meal plans and recipes with you. In case you needed (or wanted) some inspiration.

Meal Plan - Week of March 10

Sunday - Leftovers
Taco Pie and Enchiladas (the enchiladas were awful and I wouldn't recommend them to anyone)
Skillet Taco Pie

Monday - Pho Soup
Chicken Pho

Tuesday - Chicken Stir Fry
Our neighbourhood grocery store pre packages leftover produce and cuts of chicken or beef for the handiest fresh stir fry supper ever!

Wednesday - Leftovers or Pasta

Thursday - Burritos
This is Rob's specialty and you will see them surface every time I give Rob a night to cook or we have tortillas leftover.

Friday - Dinner and Movie!

Saturday - Creamy Turkey and Broccoli Gnocchi
This one is new to us and from my new cookbook app -- The Photo Cookbook -- I love this app because it lays the whole recipe out in pictures and I can decide if I want to bother just by looking at the pictures. It also gives you an ingredient by ingredient breakdown if you need it, when it asks for something silly like, wholegrain mustard.

Screenshot

If it turns out really good I'll post the whole recipe.

Also! Stay tuned later tonight for a Swap into Spring entry. I wore my new favorite dress out on Saturday and can't wait to show it off.